Criticism - To Accept, To Reject or To Ignore?

What is criticism?

Based on wikipedia, criticism is - the practice of judging the merits and faults of something or someone in an intelligible (or articulate) way.

In a simpler manner, it is a way of verbal communication that is being delivered by the critic(a person) towards a human being, animals, social group, a certain behaviour, object and etc.

For me, I would define criticism as a statement that creates a vibe within yourself when it is directed to us. So when I get that uneasy feeling when a person says something to me and I know it is not something that I would like to hear at all because it has got to do with my behaviour, appearance or whatsoever, I categorise that as criticism.

Now I am not going to talk about criticism given towards a politician, or a society or such, there is so much more; but I want to talk about criticism from a person you live nearby with(a neighbour perhaps or your housemate) or a close family member towards you. Or maybe a critic from your boss in your workplace or from a colleague in your school. Basically,what I want to talk here is criticism from anyone in your circle of life. 

Yes, it is hard to hear a criticism from a person who is close to you. Don't worry, I get that feeling too and have been there before..

 However, what is more important after hearing a criticism is how do we respond to it. How well do we react to that situation even though we are burning inside with all those mixed emotions. 

So, do we accept it, reject it or ignore it?? 

If you have watched the movie Ratatouille, you might remember this guy, Anton Ego who is a restaurant critic.. Why, whenever he says something about food, he always gives a negative feedback.  

As you see, there will always be some people around us who has always been comfortable being a critic their entire life probably.

 Well, it's not like we can do anything about it to make them stop criticising , however, we can do something about it to make sure it does not affect our self esteem or our confidence when we hear it.

Okay, the question is, how do we react??

We accept it? Well, maybe if you are strong enough..

We reject it? Hmm, what if it is a critic that helps build u??

We ignore it? Safest way to escape from this mean world and live without fear.. ;-)


I really wish there was a correct and perfect answer for this, however, the answer solely lies upon us. All three answers above works in a way that you need to respond to criticisms individually based on how it is being meant by the critic.

We can accept a critic when we know what is told could actually benefit us,it gives us a sense of cool emotion when we are being criticised. And later part, that critic makes us to think about ourselves and initiate us to make ourselves better. 

We are also entitled to reject a criticism when we know it is coming from a negative point of view. If say, a person critics about your physical appearance that seems to be a nuisance to them, then that is not coming from a good place. We can immediately choose to either let that sink into us or totally do not give them the power by rejecting what they say to us.

Of course, I do not mean saying it in their face like, "I reject what you say and I don't agree at all. How could you say that, have you even see yourself in the mirror before? ".  I have seen this happen before. Sometimes, it happens between common friends, where a friend critics his/her friend physical appearance, and automatically the offended friend defends him/herself by seeking revenge and it creates a huge argument in the end and everyone ends up being hurt. We want to avoid this situation as much as possible right...


Instead, we could just smile back and say,"Thank you for noticing that, but I think I can pull this off. But I appreciate you say to me and being honest about it. Thank you".

Guess what would happen next, if you reply them with politeness and at the same time showing that it does not affect you?

They will be offended instead. It will give them the sense of awareness that they have hurt you but instead you acted so maturely in front of them. Wouldn't you want to be the bigger person instead? That will be much cooler right!! =)

So how about ignoring a criticism? 

Sometimes, we have to ignore. When? 

Usually, when you feel what is being said does not impact you at all. It does not affect you emotionally neither does it make you feel to better yourself.

Ignoring a criticism usually occur when you are really independent and you know your self-worth,and you are able to self-love yourself instead of worrying too much of others. 

Yes, the above quote says it all in a simple manner. You totally have the power to your own reaction. Just remember to always pause, take a deep breath and think for yourself. Reflect upon what is being said, how it works for you. 

Make your own decision - accept, reject or ignore!

Life is beautiful when you know your own self worth. Keep going even when you feel like you don't want to go on just because someone said something so bad, that it keeps playing at the back of your mind.

Know when to stop. Yes, you are allowed to feel sad and bad, but never ever let it run wild and think and think and keep thinking till you make it so big inside your head and every other things seem so small.

Accept what has happened, accept the criticism, or reject it or you can ignore it,  then the next thing would be to show your true self. Don't be afraid to radiate and be yourself. It is when you are comfortable in your own skin that you can keep going on without having to worry about people's mind, talk, behaviour and anything at all.

In fact, you have a lot more power towards mankind than you have been allowed to believe growing up.

Face life with openness and embrace each minute of it. Life will be yours... 

Priorities in Life

Many of us unconsciously give more or most of our time to pleasure. Pleasure in a sense that we do not realise that it will be accompanied by pain later part. 

Yes, that's right :Pleasure is accompanied by pain if we do not take account for it! 

Pleasure is doing what you feel like doing even though your mind or heart says you should not. At some point in our life later, we are all going to regret what we did for the sake of pleasure.

However, if the pleasure is done after we actually achieve something in our daily routines or in our expertise, then it might be something that we do not regret of. Let's say you got a raise in your job after all that hard work and hours of impressing your boss, definitely you will want to pat yourself with something that will give you a pleasure of your life. And this is not wrong and it won't end up as something you regret doing I bet. =)

Here are some examples that defines giving importance to pleasure:

Not hitting the gym just because you did not want to miss your favourite show on tv!! 

Not studying for that test just because you think there is 2 more days left to go through your notes. So,instead you watch your favourite movie on the television. 

Not rescheduling your time to meet with your clients because you think it's okay to miss a client for once, after all it's not going to affect the entire performance of the company right !

And the list may go on......

That's not good at all. In fact, you will definitely end up regretting that you misused the time. After all once time is gone, you can't get it back at any cost. No matter how much we wish we could turn that clock around.  Who wants to be in that position right??? 

Time is money. Yes, we have all heard that quote from somewhere at least once in our life. But the BIG question is : What are we doing with the time we have right now? 

• Is it being used wisely?
• Does it give me benefit when I have used all of that time?

Why is it always hard to start doing something in the beginning??

Based on my personal experience in life, I find that when we start doing something useful in our life, it's at that particular time when our subconscious mind will deceive us in doing unworthy things or other unimportant stuffs. Blame our mind huh.. ;-)
I believe it all comes back to controlling our desire and ourselves.

When we can take control of our actions, then we take control of our reactions as well. Everything is well embedded within us. 
As long we decide and take action right away thinking about the end in mind!

It is always hard in the beginning, but when you reach the end trust me it will be easy and you will thank yourself for using your time in that beneficial way. 

The moment when you realise everything in life is temporary and you want to make good use of what is left and be one of the top productive people in the world. Yes, YOU! Why not be one of the top 20% of the productive people in the world??

I won't say that it is impossible to throw away your pleasure fulfilling desires, but it is possible by taking small steps to disregard it. After all we are normal human beings, it will take huge determination and willpower and also a strong discipline within us to fully create a lifetime that will give us the ultimate happiness.

Have a wonderful day and spend your time wisely =)

Strangers into Acquaintances

Were you surrounded by unfamiliar faces, unknown people and weird looks given by people around you when you try to talk to them?? Yes you tend to freak out, and get a little nervous about it. 

My God!! How should I react? What should I say??

But did you know that at the same time, those people you were nervous and uncertain about actually feels the same way towards you too? I guess knowing this would mean a lot to you now right. Well it did to me though.  

When I finally realised that the person standing right in front of me also was having the same wild running thoughts of what to say to me, what to do next, instead this person handled it in a very well mannered. Hmm, sounds pretty tough to handle right, but actually it is not at all, once you know what you are doing.

What I realised was three things in this person whom handled being around me although I was a complete stranger.

• The person was attentive (totally no interruption)
• The person smiled a lot( and I mean a lot!! )
• The person only kept the conversation positive even though it was not supposed to be

"Positive thinking will let you do anything better than a negative thinking will"-Zig Zaglar

When I started to apply these three basic principles that I learned, I started feeling comfortable almost with every new person whom I met that day. It eventually boost my confidence level and gave me no more sweats. I started nodding and listening to the other person rather than thinking in my head what should I say next. I started to link everything the person say and to my surprise I did not have to think of what to say next, because I fully understand what he/she meant, so I just have to continue from there on. 

To add on my surprise of communicating with these people, they tend to give me back the same respect, attention and mutual understanding that I wanted in the first place. It's like I get what I give!

I know I am not perfect yet, but I am still perfecting my other skills though. The world out there has so much of opportunities of learning and it never ends. But I am excited to explore more!!!

Hey, if you have something to say about how you deal when you meet a person for the first time, let me know. Sharing it would be awesome to, and learning different things would be great.